“April 4, 2008
Oh Heavens! You will never guess what has happened! Oh! The Government raided Eldorado (That’s where Uncle Warren has a settlement in Texas with about 500 of our people) They claim that a 16 year old girl called and said that she was being sexually abused so they went in and took 187 children today ranging from 6 months to 17 years old. All were girls. They raided the temple and searched every house. They hauled all the girls away. 18 of the girls are already put into Foster homes. I can’t believe this is happening! It is the 1953 raid all over again! Oh Heaven help us! My feelings are mixed about this, I am scared yet at the same time I feel left out, like I am not a part of the people. I don’t want it to happen here, I just don’t know what to think.”
This was a very scary day for us, it hit so close to home yet didn’t impact us directly. I did have a cousin who was married to Warren Jeff’s brother in Eldorado and her children were taken in this raid but they were so isolated and veiled in secrecy, we didn’t even know for sure if that is where she was. I remember the fear we felt because we thought that all the children would never be returned like the raid on the FLDS in 1953. (see attached links for more info on that) I almost voiced this in the journal entry, but I didn’t say it quite to the extent I felt, I wished desperately that I was one of those girls that had been taken. I even went so far as to fantasize or “daydream” about the family I was given to, them trying to get me to wear normal clothes or denounce Warren Jeffs. I played out scenarios in my head whenever I could get the chance, them forcing me to go to high school and being a part of their family. The funny thing was, it wasn’t a negative thought, I literally wanted it. How very strange for someone who still believed in the FLDS doctrine. Or did I?
April 5, 2008
They took the Mothers and boys today. Now all that is left is the Fathers. 35 houses got eviction notices today here in town. So many things are happening, I wouldn’t be surprised if the destructions started happening soon.
April 8, 2008
We were at work when at 11:00 (1 hour before my lunch break) Manda yelled out “come on girls, we are going home” Everyone was like, are you okay? We still have an hour left. Then she yelled in a really shrill voice “GO GET IN THE CARS RIGHT NOW! Father said to drop everything and go RIGHT NOW” So we gathered up and rushed to the cars and went home. I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. About 10 minutes after I got home Uncle Johnny called Mother and told her he couldn’t get ahold of Father and to please call him, he sounded really nervous. 20 minutes later Father said that the FBI were going through all the businesses and finding out where the money comes from, our people need money really bad cause all of the 400 people need a lawyer. I pray to God that it all turns out the way he wants!
April 13, 2008
The weirdest thing happened today, Me n Miss are on dinner and Father had gone to town when at about 2:30 he got home and told everyone there was a meeting at 4:00 Father told me to go get ready so I did. We left at 3:00. Missy and Sharon stayed home to tend the kids. We sat in our seats for a whole hour when directly at 4:00 Uncle Alvin Barlow came up and offered prayer and we sang “Up awake ye Defenders of Zion” It was very powerful! We sat down and Uncle Lyle’s voice came over the pulpit, he was on the phone. He updated us on what was going on in Texas. He said we needed to donate all the surplus money anybody had.
April 14, 2008
There was another meeting at 5:00 this evening I didn’t go but Missy and Sharon did. Uncle Lyle said that the CPS had lied to all the Mothers, they separated the Mothers with children older than 5 and the Mothers with children under 5 into different groups. They took the Mothers with children 5 and older and told them they needed to talk with them, the Mothers asked if they would get to go back to their kids and the CPS said yes so they went with them where they were surrounded by police men and CPS officials and were forced to leave their children. The Mothers begged and said that they promised their children they would come back and asked if they could at least say goodbye and they told them no and loaded them onto buses and carted them back to the ranch. I am so sad. Those poor children being taken from their Mothers! I pray to God that this will end soon!
April 19, 2008
There was a meeting at 8:00 this morning. I am so tired. I watched movies with Miranda all night for her birthday. We watched What a Girl Wants (2 hours) and North and South (4 hours). It was SO fun!
April 21, 2008
The stinking CPS are doing DNA tests today. I don’t think they could get any dumber. My only consolation is that they’ll have Heavenly Father to answer too.
April 22, 2008
Someone in our work has started two websites called fldstruth.org and captivefldschildren.org they are AMAZING! The first one is the whole history of our religion and the captive children one has videos and pictures of when the raid happened. It is heartbreaking. They have opened a donation center, Q&A center, and a timeline.
April 23, 2008
They have started putting the children 5 and older into foster care. I can’t believe it is really happening! I thought the Lord would stop it before it came to this. But I know when Uncle Warren gets out he will gather them up!
The FLDS genuinely believed that Warren Jeffs would miraculously get freed from jail and Lyle told us in meetings that when that happened he would gather up all the children who remained faithful during this time (didn’t partake in “worldly traditions” such as their dress, holidays, speech, faiths, and entertainment) and bring them to Zion.
April 24, 2008
Today they separated all the babies and younger children from their Mothers. I am so sad and sickened by the thought. I don’t even want to think about it 😦
I know now that the FLDS is a sick cult and the people there are either brainwashed victims or master manipulators, but this really was hard to watch. The children were innocent in all of this yet they were the ones torn from their Mothers. I hate seeing children in any kind of pain.
April 26, 2008
I got called into a meeting at RAS today, it turns out Uncle Randall, Rod, Howard, and Phil are going away. No one knows where or how long. Mike and George will be in charge. I know where they are, they are in Texas building up another business to help support the legal battle Britty and Manda seem to think he’s gone to Zion or something. They are acting really weird about it.
May 6, 2008
On the Captive children site they added a new section with music. On it is a song from Debbie Steed, it is sang by a little girl. It is the most heart-wrenching thing I have ever heard.
Debbie Steed is my relative (I forget how), she was one of the foremost song-writers and singers in the FLDS and I always pretended like I knew her because she was famous. The FLDS made a few videos and wrote a few songs to play on the sympathies of the public during the raid. I have to admit, listening to this song still hits me hard. Hearing it again brings me back to those days of worrying and wondering and feeling so horrible for those little children separated from their Mothers.
This is the song I mentioned. The little girl at 1:33 is my cousins daughter. Meant to be Together
For those interested in learning more about the FLDS culture, someone has started a channel FLDS Productions that has old videos, songs, and productions from the FLDS. Back in the 90’s before entertainment in itself was banned the FLDS made their own movies and did plays. They even did one called “The Re-Sound of Music” with polygamy added into the story. It is all very entertaining if you can sit through it all.
Funny family video April 2008
Photos from April 2008