October 15, 2007

“October 15, 2007 Monday

We started school today, It was really fun! We start at 9:00, have morning class until 9:30 the we do English and Handwriting, then we have a 15 minute break from 10:30-10:45 then we do math then lunch break from 11:30-1:00 then we do book of mormon. ABC’s and reading then a 15 minute break the we end with Science and Art. It was great fun! I think I am going to enjoy teaching school.”

We were able to do school from a curriculum censored and developed by FLDS leaders. I think my parents did have to pay for it. Other than the creepy brainwashing material, it was actually convenient to just go and print out the days work. It only went up to 9th grade so I never benefited from a highschool education. I have recently discovered a website called “Khan Academy” That gives me free highschool level classes. I dedicate a couple hours a day to it so I can prepare for college. 

This was recently sent to me by a friend. This was a
This was recently sent to me by a friend. This was a “business class” assignment given to her in the 7th grade in a FLDS ran school. It was only given to the female students.

“October 17, 2007 Wednesday

Today is Margs 32nd Birthday. I wish I could do something for her but we’re broke this month, cause Father gave $3500 out of $5000 to Uncle Warren. But anyway, Happy Birthday Marg!! 

later

Marg called Mother and told her that she was expecting! What a wonderful Birthday present! 

November 21, 2007 

Oh. I am so lousy at writing in here! If I would only take 5 minutes a day I would never have to play catch-up. Gah. Why did I choose these months to be lazy? They are so filled with events and happenings! Well, I have to start somewhere. About a week after her birthday Marg had a miscarriage. It was so sad. I went to Uncle Randalls house on October 29th so I could go with Tillie to Phoenix for a neurologist appointment. We left on Tuesday night at 3am. The ride took 6 hours. We stopped only once. It was a VERY scenic drive. We got to Pheonix and went pawn shopping until 1pm then we went to Tillie’s appointment. All I can say about the Doctor is that he was a butt-head! He told us exactly what we already know. She has Lymphedema caused by RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy) and she needed to find a Lymphedema Specialist and do physical therapy to bring the swelling down, and because we took so long to get it treated it might be a permanent condition. 😦  In the morning we went home. We stopped at Lees Ferry. It was amazing to see Uncle Roys growing up place! The night I left for Uncle Randalls Mother Jenny and William went to Brawley. I was sad that I was going to miss the peace, but when I got home on November 6th they were still gone and they are coming home today (November 21st) So I had time to enjoy it! On November 18th Libby grew 2 little teeth in the front she is the most precious thing on earth! I love her to death! We didn’t even know she was teething, she never cried unless she is hungry. She is my total joy. I got my eyes examined on November 15th, my old glassed had been broke for almost a year, I had to solder them back together every 2 days. My eyesight is way worse than it was. Now comes the sad news. Uncle Warren got sentenced on November 20, 2007, he was sentenced to 10 years and that is just in Utah, now he has to go to Arizona and face more charges there. It is hard to believe but I know he is in Heavenly Fathers hands. On November 10, 2007 Parleys sister dies from a long cancer battle. She had her leg amputated but it still spread and she died. She was just 13 years old. Father and MJ were still in California but we went up to town to see Madie, Parley, Oakley and Kacie and to attend the funeral. I ended up staying at Margs house to tend all the children but I still got to see Madie and it was so good to see her! Kacie and Oakley are adorable! I saw my old friends Mary and Priscilla Steed. I met them when we lived at Jethro’s house. They lived right down the road. It was like a loop with 3 houses and we had friends from each one. I also had “boyfriends” from every house. When I was 13 I was skinny and super cute. At the steeds house there was Gerald, Newel, and David. Gerald and Newel were 14 and David was 13. At Uncle Drew’s house there was Cory (14) then at Uncle Deans house there was Orrin (14) Me, Missy, Sharon and Newel and David would go play on the mountain behind our house. We would play battlefield (a game I invented) for hours, and sometimes cowboys and indians. We built huts all over the mountain made from trees, we named rocks and caves and trails. David was Sharons, Newel was Missy’s, and Gerald was mine. I secretly liked Newel but I didn’t want to make Missy mad so I never said anything. One time me and Missy carved our initials on the secret rock and a couple days later we went back and each one said “I love” over the top. So it was like “I Love JR and I love MR”  We did carvings all the time and there were little “love” notes all over the mountain. We were pretty naughty. I was worse than my little sisters though. Orrin took me on fourwheeler rides and I would go out all night with him and Gerald. Never together though, they always argued about who I liked better. I liked Orrin the best out of all of them. I still have a little piece of wood he made me that he burnt “I ❤ you” onto it. Cory stole things for me (How romantic…) I still have one thing he stole from yellowstone. Its a wooden key chain thats carved into my name. Orrin once gave me a watch. Gerald gave me music, tapes, watches, rings, bracelets and love notes. Orrin is a really good young man and he is still here, I still like him a lot because I know he truly liked me as a friend and didn’t want to use me. Well sorry to go off subject…. 

“When I was 13 and super cute”
My beautiful baby sister Libby. She always has had a special place in my heart!
My beautiful baby sister Libby. She always has had a special place in my heart!

Here is a Video I took of the family sitting down for evening class in November 2007, looks like my Dad and Mother jenny were still in California. Click here to watch

I sound like such a brat. 

When Father was gone, we took turns reading at class. My little sister Missy is the one reading, she is reading from one of the many volumes of teachings by the FLDS prophets. 

December 23, 2007 Sunday 

Hi Everyone! Today is my 16th birthday! Yours truly is 16 years old. Its hard to believe! Father took me and missy. First, he wanted to go on a rollercoaster or something like that but when he asked me what I wanted, I told him that Mother had been wanting a certain bedspread for a long time and I wanted to get it for her. So we went and got it! Then he made me pick something out for Mother Jenny so she didn’t feel bad 😦 Then he bought me a really nice body pillow and a down blanket and 2 down pillows! He is so awesome!” 

I had my down blanket until a couple months ago, it ripped and all the feathers flew out (that was fun to clean up) But It was my most loved possession for 8 years. Thanks Pops. 

December 31, 2007 Monday

Today is the last day of 2007! It has been a very eventful year. I can’t say that I’ve improved much. I have gained 34 pounds. I sit on the computer all day, I’m a grumpy bitch, I procrastinate more than ever, and I’m lazy. I am determined to make 2008 end very nice. 140 pounds, happy, useful, busy, loving and kind! Wish me luck! (oh yeah, and get over my shyness) 

My sister Missy, 2007
My sister Missy, 2007
We got a new picture. Wendell Nielson, Warren Jeffs, Fred Jessop
We got a new picture. Wendell Nielsen, Warren Jeffs, Fred Jessop
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10 thoughts on “October 15, 2007”

  1. Thank you; they posted a link to your blog on another site. I wish you well, and feel free to drop me a line. I’ve got some IRL stuff about another polygamist sect as well.

  2. Jesse, I adore you!! 💜 I had no idea you had ablog!! Sign me up! Love reading about you and seeing life through your eyes!

  3. What a wonderful collection of journal entries! I’ve read the multiple comments urging you to publish a book based on your diaries, and I want to wholeheartedly add in my urgings. You’re a very intelligent writer.

    To that I also want to add how important your journals are from an academic standpoint. Your journals demonstrate the impact that FLDS teachings have on an adolescent female and her family and community interactions. There are probably many sociologists, anthropologists and religious scholars who would LOVE to read these for the insightful firsthand account they provide of growing up in a closed religion/ cult (I hope you aren’t offended by calling the FLDS a cult- whatever it was prior to Warren Jeffs, after he came to power it definitely became a cult!) Consider allowing academics to read your journals, please.

    And lastly, what a strong woman you are! It sounds like you managed some very strong self-identity creation even in the face of incredibly stifling teachings that were trying to quash your individuality. I give you a lot of credit for your strength and determination.

    I’m glad you’re out of the FLDS now and can continue developing your many talents without being made to feel guilt and fear for doing so. I hope your mom and the rest of your family (I don’t include mother Jenny in this- she never acted like your family) were able to escape as well.

    Good luck to you Jessica. You’re incredible!

    1. Hey there Stacy. Sorry it took me so long to reply. I have been very busy trying to sort out the many things I am pursuing at the moment. I have decided to write my book, I just don’t know when. I am working on enrolling in college so my time will be consumed by that for awhile. I truly appreciate your insight and kind words. I am happy that you enjoyed reading it and I hope to post more soon.
      Best wishes,
      Jessica

  4. Dear Jessica,
    my name is Christina and I am of czech-German origin but I live in Sweden now. I am interested in religious groups and cult and that’s how I stumbled upon your blog. I read it all in just a couple of days. Some parts made me cry, some parts made me mad (especially those where you talk about Jenny and how your mom was treated) and some parts are realy beautiful e.g. when you talk about how you love your siblings. I hope you will write more. Many greetings from Sweden. Christina

  5. hi! I came across your blog because I’ve been interested in this FLDS for a long time. I thought you guys weren’t allowed to have electronics like computers or be on the internet? (i’m referring to the Youtube video you posted about scripture reading with your siblings)!
    Thanks so much for publishing these journals and letting us get a glimpse into your life!

    1. Hey there Kelsey! I am glad you have been reading. I took the video on my Moms camera in 2007 and didn’t post it on YouTube until I made this blog post. That being said, you are partially right about electronics in the FLDS. The leaders have tightened their grip on the people, taking away many privileges we once had, it all started around the beginning of 2011. At the point of the video taken, my family lived in Las Vegas and it was before they were too strict about internet so I had limited access. Currently in the faithful FLDS cellphones and electronics are allowed but the internet is strictly forbidden as well as texting. This was not in effect when I was there.

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