December 23, 2005

“Well today I am 14 years old. I think thats pretty cool. I’ve had a good day. I was all dressed besides my hair and Grandma and the whole school came over and everyone gave me a card and Grandma gave me some chocolates a burn thing (I dont really know what it is but its fun) I am pretty happy! Missy gave me a bath set it is rose scented it smells SO good. Tillie gave me a picture of her with a picture frame and an embroidered crop top with a hunk of fabric to match. MIssy and Tillie both have one and we are gonna get pictures done in them. Priscilla Steed called and left a message to call her back. Debbie came and combed my hair and gave me 25 dollars and Tillie took me to lunch! And we are about to have missionaries.! I am really excited! Its been a really nice Birthday so far and the best part is yet to come! (giving gifts)”

This was my first year out of school and everyone really missed me. I remember feeling somewhat left out but I was glad I didn’t have to go anymore. It was all the Rohbock kids 8 years to about 14 years old. The boys dropped out around the same age as me so they could go to work.

“Missionaries” was a recently implemented program that the Bishop started. It was 3-4 young boys from the ages 14-18 that would come and bear their testimonies of the Prophet and the Priesthood work. There would be an opening and closing prayer and the question list that the head of the household had to answer, the boys would take note and then bring the report back to the Bishop. The questions were like 

  • Have you removed from your home the worldly entertainment the clothes, music, movies?
  • Are all members home at night?
  • Do all family members attend priesthood appointed meetings as far as they are able to?
  • Have they done away with all lying, backbiting, and fighting and light mindedness?
  • Do all Family say their prayers morning and night?
  • Do all the members in the household honor the Priesthood in the Home?
  • Do all family members uphold the Prophet?

Father was the only one who could answer and it was Yes or No only. It was such a shameful thing to have to answer “No” to the questions. When I was in trouble Dad would tell me I better not make it so he has to answer No when the missionaries come. Secretly inside I hated when they came cause the questions would make me feel so guilty because I knew if Dad knew what was in my heart he would have to say no to half the questions. I also didn’t want to get called on to bear my testimony in front of everyone. I didn’t know what I would say. Class was a morning and evening devotional that every family had to have every day. We would gather around and read from the sermon books or listen to Warren Jeffs tapes and then we would have prayer. 

“December 25, 2005 Sunday

Madie is in Labor!! I am so nervous! Father didn’t let Mother go down. She is really sad.

10:00am dilated to a 5                                                 

12:30pm dilated to a 7

7:30pm dilated to a 9 its gonna be here soon!

9:15pm She had a girl!! 7.8 lbs lots of black hair and a little dimple. I am SO HAPPY! I can’t wait to see her! THANK YOU heavenly Father!”

Madie’s first child was born in Salt Lake City when she was 15 years old. Her name is Kacie Michelle.

“December 28, 2005 Wednesday

I went to Salt Lake! I went with Mother and Ben. It was really fun, of course I went and saw Madie, her baby is SO cute! Madie named her Kacie Michelle. I think its really cute. It was so nice to see Madie. I wanted to stay but Mother said no. Madie cried really hard when we left. It was so sad. I got to see our old house and the library and went to the Purple Turtle to get a shake, it brought back a lot of memories. There were Christmas lights all over!”

This makes me ache for Madie. She was so young and away from her Family and her Mother with a little baby. All she wanted was to be back home but there was no way that could happen, we knew it and so did she. I can’t imagine the pain and loneliness she had to go through. It makes my heart hurt. She needed us but we all just accepted that we couldn’t be there for her because of the sins she had committed, for no other reason than her being sexually abused when she was 10. The religion made it so easy for Family to throw each other away in the name of God. 



3 thoughts on “December 23, 2005”

    1. I don’t know quite where this question came from Regarding this entry, but yes, she did get kicked out for having sex and ultimately getting pregnant. It doesn’t directly have anything to do with being sexually abused as a kid, but I’m certain the FLDS leaders had her pegged as a rebel. After it happened my dad was told to “keep an eye on her because her being defiled could lead to her being rebellious” she was offered no sympathy or any kind of explanation, she was marked and watched more carefully because she was abused, in a round about way she was punished for it. Who knows how that affected the outcome of what happened to her. I believe the FLDS leaders are capable of anything. Even judging a young girl who was raped.

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