November 16, 2005

November 16, 2005

I am going to a Bar-J Concert!

Later

I had the funnest most, most, I don’t know! It was SO enjoyable, so grand, so funny! It was just everything! It was so fun I will NEVER forget it as long as I live, never! We bought a CD and got all the autographs!

I can’t help but chuckle to myself reading this entry, I am almost embarrassed for myself, but I am not. I can transport myself back and remember how I felt going to the Bar-J Wranglers…

My mom has loved them for as long as I can remember and while we lived in Salt Lake it was a yearly outing to go see the Bar-J Wranglers (http://www.barjchuckwagon.com/Wranglers.html) They are a Cowboy band that consists of a Dad and his 2 sons and a couple other family friends who sing old Western songs and have a comedy routine. We had all their CD’s and I listened to them all the time as a child. I know to some it was considered wicked, but you don’t mess with our music! 

After my family moved to Colorado City/Hildale we didn’t see them for 4 years and this was the first time we got to see them, I don’t remember where or how we saw them but It was the first time I was old enough to actually enjoy it. I saw them one time afterwards with my Mom and Mother Jenny. After that it was considered too bad to go anymore. I have seen them twice since I have left for their Christmas Concert. 

November 17, 2005 Thursday

We went to Uncle Randalls house, we played on Tillies treadmill and told stories. We had a grand time. Jared is a very nice young man Tall, dark and handsome! I don’t understand why I feel this way, I have known Jared all my life and now I am shy to him and he is shy to me! I am glad I don’t have to go to school this year, I would be embarrassed to sit by him. He is so nice, I don’t know how to say it but my feelings are just different now. 

Jared. He was the cousin that was my age. He was my best friend as a child. When we lived in Pleasant Grove my Family and my Uncle Randalls family lived on a 2 acre plot that had 1 house for each of us we had a winding little sidewalk that connected the houses and I could play with my Cousins whenever I wanted. Both of the Families were Homeschooled by our Grandma. Jared is about 9 months older than me and we just connected. We both learned how to read at the same time, although he sucked at English and Spelling which worked out perfectly because I sucked at Math so I would do his English work and he would do my Math (I still struggle with Math to this day, maybe because I never had to complete a full page in my entire life) we defended each other from the mean older kids and we always escaped everyone and did random things like steal baby cereal and sugar and mix it up and eat it, or test out the Dogs food and see if it was yummy. After moving to the Crick things just got different, and as we aged Jareds Mom strived to keep us apart. We weren’t able to play tag or any other game that involved touching, because even though he was my cousin it was a sin to touch the opposite sex. We were told to treat boys/girls like snakes, RUN in the other direction when we get close. 

I remember feeling so bad and blaming the separation on Jared but it really wasn’t his fault, his Mom just wanted to raise Righteous boys. I am guessing that my finding him handsome and us both being shy on puberty and starting to find the opposite sex attractive.

November 23, 2005 Wednesday

In exactly one month is my Birthday! I talked to both of my gone sisters today. Debbie in the flesh. I love both of them and I am sorry for the way I’ve treated them sometimes. I miss them SO bad. Madie is going to have a baby and Debbie is a heathen, at least dresses like a heathen. She was always so gentle, and she still defends this people against her friends….. 😥 ohh well! What’s done, is done. 

My sister Madie was only 15 at the time. She had gotten Pregnant at 14 by a 21 year old man and got kicked out to repent. She had her first kid, Kacie on December 25th 2005. She married her current husband/baby daddy on her 16th Birthday when she was pregnant with her second child. She now has 4 kids.  She stayed out of the FLDS up in Salt Lake for 8 years trying to repent until she finally gave up last year, she wore the FLDS dresses and hairstyle the entire time.

Debbie left a little while after Madie got kicked out and she got to visit us a lot because she lived in St. George and we weren’t super strict and shunned her like the good people did. I am sure we hid quite a few visits from Dad. Mom had a way of doing that lol. I am sure she didn’t look like a “heathen” but to my FLDS eyes she did! She was the first one out of the religion to wear “gentile clothes” so It was a huge shock to us. 

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